What would a Bigfoot site be without a little humor? These gems are a few of my favorite Bigfoot-related amusements.
Very amusing link here... (added 11/24/08)
My favorite (and maybe the only) funny Bigfoot book:
In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot
by Graham Roumieu
Roumieu, whose illustrations have appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Progressive, reveals the hairy hominids's brave struggles with eating disorders, casual cannibalism, and philosophical quandaries ("Me once believe in good. Now, no. World go shit, like Bigfoot screenwriting career.") In a full-color graphic novel, Roumieu offers a portrait of the artist as a young ape that will leave the reader howling with laughter.
Readers say:
Get a diaper- you'll wet yourself laughing!, December 16, 2003
Reviewer: Carly P (Canada)
I stumbled across this book in an excellent graphic novel store in Montreal. I picked it up, flipped through it, and began to read... and caused a commotion. I swear to god, I can't remember laughing like that in ages- I mean, mascara running, eyes crying, shaking and shrieking laughing.
Bigfoot is a sensitive, misunderstood soul. He writes poetry about his personal pain ("I hit you with log"), makes friends in Las Vegas at a roulette wheel, and talks about the love/hate relationship with his fans ("I not Chewbacca" "No splash me with holy water- it no work"), along with other subjects important in his life.
The illustrations capture the spirit of the book- they are messy, inky and full of energy.
If you have a dry sense of humour, appreciate the absurd, and dig character-based comedy you have found the perfect book. I ordered it for a gift for someone and I've flipped through it again before wrapping it, and it's still left me laughing as hard as when I first read it- that in itself says something.
My favorite Bigfoot joke (there aren't many to choose from):
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot exists. (Hey, now... wait a minute!)
Bigfoot Haiku (a Haiku is a form of Japanese poetry - 3 lines, 5-7-5 syllables respectively):
Loud screaming last night
Wild thrashing in the bushes
Must have been an owl.
Huge hairy woman
Her image flickers on-screen
The world holds its breath.
Moonlight shines brightly
Hundreds of thousands of trees
Which are YOU behind?
send me your Bigfoot haiku!
Fun Bigfoot Links:
Cooking with Bigfoot
BSA Sasquatch Militia
True Tales of Terror:
"Our Search For Bigfoot"
by Scott Davis
First, let me publicly state that I swear the following encounter and events leading up to it actually did take place as I describe them here, even the names have not been changed.
It was a gray, overcast, early fall day in either 1976 or 77 (the exact year is the only part I don't recall well, but it was one of the two) when my buddy Rick and I, then still in our teens, decided it was time for us to make the most important scientific discovery of the century. We were going to find Bigfoot.
"...we would
accomplish what so many others had failed to do: prove the existence of this mysterious legendary giant." |
We'd always had an interest in any cryptozoological mystery, Bigfoot, Yeti, Nessie, Champ, Mothman, you name it, we were into it, but sasquatch was our favorite, and our priority. We were undaunted in our belief that we would accomplish what so many others had failed to do: prove the existence of this mysterious legendary giant.
Now, you must keep in mind, this was in the days before we had these wonderful Internet databases of Sasquatch sightings and information that we have available today, so the possibility that Bigfoot might not be inhabiting our local woods never entered our minds. We figured, "Hey, the area is covered with forest, Bigfoot has gotta' be out there somewhere!" So with that strong but naive conviction guiding us, we set out on that dreary day into the local woodlands to accomplish our goal.
We walked the day through, crossing hills and valleys, streams and dense
brush, over boulders, rocks and whatever other natural obstacles that were in
our path. Our line of sight was short at best as even though it was early
fall, the leaves were still on the trees and the woods were very thick and
overgrown in the area. It was around 2:30 to 3:00 in the afternoon when we finally stopped for a break. We sat there, way up on top of this hillside, discussing the issue of finding the creature, and complaining a little about our hunger and thirst since in our passion to get the quest underway neither one of us had had the presence of mind to bring any food or water. It was while we were discussing these matters that we first heard the sound.
"You heard that too?" Rick asked.
"Yeah, something is out here with us. |
We both stopped mid-sentence and looked at each other.
"You heard that too?" Rick asked.
"Yeah, something is out here with us." I replied.
It was a small, almost insignificant sound at first, just a rustling of the leaves and underbrush from somewhere ahead. We excitedly scanned the dense growth in front of us to try and determine the proximity of whatever had made the noise, but the growth was so heavy we couldn't see very far. Then we heard it again, closer now, and a little louder. Something was definitely approaching us.
It was maddening as we both knew that this creature was getting very
close but we still could not see it due to the density of the underbrush and
trees. Again, the sound, and again a little bit closer! Now, I must explain that
while this sound was not loud, what it felt like to me was that whatever this
thing could be, it was approaching us very cautiously, perhaps watching our
every move while we could still not see it.
| "Suddenly, without another sound to warn me the creature burst through the heavy brush not 15 feet from where I was!" |
It was about that time when it began to occur to us that perhaps heading out into the woods, completely unarmed and defenseless, in search of an animal that stood in excess of seven feet and weighed at least four hundred pounds, an animal that might not be very pleased that we had decided to invade it's territory, might not have been the most prudent decision we had ever made.
There, the noise once again! Now it was very, very close! Then from behind me I heard a much louder commotion. Startled by this, I jumped and turned quickly, thinking that perhaps a Bigfoot had been sneaking up on us from behind as well, but I quickly realized that the cause of this new sound was entirely different altogether.
I stood there completely stunned as I watched Rick, my supposedly brave
and trustworthy friend and fellow researcher running full tilt back down the
hill, away from me and any possible danger. He was already 40 yards away and moving as fast as he could through the branches, brush and other obstacles. I didn't even bother to yell after him, it was already too late.
So, as a strange combination of terror and adrenaline mixed with wild curiosity flowed through my body I simply turned and awaited my fate with the approaching monster. Suddenly, without another sound to warn me the creature burst through the heavy brush not 15 feet from where I was! We both stood there, our breath rapid, each staring the other down, each one sizing up the potential threat of the other! That was when I realized that the creature that had been slowly approaching us all this time was not Bigfoot at all, ....but a black and white kitten. Fortunately for me it's demeanor was rather benign and nonaggressive, and having satisfied it's curiosity, it then leapt back into the undergrowth and quickly disappeared.
It was big as kittens go. We later estimated from the depth of the tracks that it went at least 1-3/4 pounds, but was more likely to weigh in at a solid 2, with a height of about 7 inches and a stride that we estimated from the tracks to be about 2 to 2-3/4 inches. We would have made a cast of the tracks but we hadn't thought to bring any plaster either.
I then turned to discover that about 70 yards down the hill, Rick stood there watching. He'd stopped there and seen the whole encounter go down from his assumed position of safety. Needless to say the fact that he'd run in absolute terror from a tiny kitten brought about much derisive verbal chastisement from myself all the way back down out of the woods. Even to this day we laugh hysterically as the story of this legendary kitten encounter is told to family, friends, and pretty much anyone else who wants to hear me tell of how in a time of terror, my best friend abandoned me to what he thought was Sasquatch, but turned out to be a wee feline. Now I give this story to all of you visiting this website, so that he will never live this down.
